~~ MY FIRST CRUSH ~~

Now, when you were in primary school I bet you had crushes and even boyfriends, not like proper boyfriends but you know, the childlike relationships. When I was in primary school, I had no boyfriends. I just had crushes. Now, my first crush goes a little like this…

I remember just finding him so attractive like I don’t know. Also, like how do primary school kids think someone is attractive? I now just find it just bizarre. But anyway, I just wanted to be more involved, aka be the boyf but he was having absolutely none of it. It was really comical. I remember my friend also find this guy really attractive and I’d have arguments with her over him, like wtf. For real? We were all like 8? 10? Maybe?

I just totally “loved” this guy. Like I didn’t even really now what love was. I just being a silly child! It was crazy how like I liked him. At school disco’s, it would be totally awkward. As all my friends knew I liked him and would try to get us to dance etc, be totally lame. Not gonna lie it was highly hilarious my childhood.

I eventually got over this said crush. He was having none of my affections so I put them elsewhere. During the whole of my primary school life, he was the only person I ever had affections for.


 

When I got to high school, again I had no boyfriends. I just had crushes, whereas it wasn’t called crushes anymore. It was plainly called “fancy”. I never said to friends that I had a crush on someone. It was more-so of “I fancy this guy…”.

In high school, I believe I may have fancied quite a few people, that I’m guilty of! But again, nothing happened they were just plain, I like this person. Why? No clue. I just did.

With fancying people, I just did it, like I didn’t know much about their lives I just liked they way the acted with others, me and what they looked like. I was more of a, I like your personality, more than looks kind of thing.

I can really, fully only remember having fancied two people in high school. Both two ends of the spectrum, one quite a popular guy, lots of friends. In American high school, I’d say he was like one of the Jock types? The other was

The other was completely different. He was kind of grungy? Indie? Pretty cool guy.

I really, really fancied this guy. Like yeah, but as always it went tits up.


 

In college, I didn’t really fancy anyone. I was in a course with like 8 people. The majority were guys but I didn’t fancy any of these. Then I started hanging out with my friend Jamie at college and he introduced me to his two friends.

These were Joe and Danny. At first, these were just my friends who I talked to do every Thursday at dinner. I didn’t have any thought that Joe would even fancy me!

I never thought that anyone would fancy me?! Like why?! I’m not pretty?

But I really liked Joe, he was sweet. He’d get all nervous around me, which I really adored. I never thought I would fancy him really. No offense bub. Like I was just not really wanting a boyfriend in college anyway. I was simply happy being friends.

I think Joe just really liked me, which I totally dug. I remember people on my course were talking about “us” and I’m like woah guys? What the hell! We just talk???

When I finished college and moved onto University, Joe then realised how much he liked me and wanted to move it forward in our relationship at that stage. I really liked that he took the initiative to move it forward. I remember him saying he fancied me quite a lot, but never really believing it. I remember on FaceBook he said to me “Will you go out with me?” and he said that in Japanese to me, which I found really adorable.

I’ve known Joe for quite some time like 4/5 years, and I remember adding him on FaceBook and thinking WOW. This guy is hot. Like Wow. I thought he must have all the girls after him. But that wasn’t the case. He genuinely liked me, for me and I loved that.

After him nagging at me for months to go out with him, on the 12th January 2015 at around 2am he asked again: “Will you go out with me?”, and I said yes. It was really strange for me because I’d never had a boyfriend before so I was like, I have no idea what I’m doing here…


 

Overall in my life, I’d say I’ve probably had crushes on up to 5 people? That’s probably pretty good? Or pretty bad? For me, I’m happy. I’m happy that I didn’t have stupid relationships when I was a pre-teen / teenager.

Now that I’ve been with Joe for one year and seven months, I can honestly say I’m happy. I’m happy with the way this has all gone. I couldn’t be more thrilled that Joe is my boyfriend. I’m happy that everything previously before Joe, kinda went wrong.

No offense to the guys that I liked before actually loving Joe. I really liked them guys, but nothing compares to loving someone.

The one thing that’s right is knowing that I love someone like the way I do love, Joe.

Joe is perf.

Joe is life.


 

This is probably a boring post, but it’s nice to share things about my life on blog and things that can help others 😀

Tara,

xoxo

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